


The Dark Side of Devotion

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Dark Ben Solo, Devoted Ben Solo, Foreshadowing, Guilt, M/M, No Holds Barred Beatdown, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ben Solo, Self-Hatred, drug references, what does redemption mean?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe still has insecurities over his time as a spice runner on Kijimi, but Ben will stand by him no matter what.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Gen Prompt Bingo Round 18





	The Dark Side of Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hard and Soft
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ben couldn’t say when he had necessarily gotten into a scrap with Thailon Ronnix, but the worst of it started when Thailon insulted Poe.   
  
“Go figure that a freak like Solo would hang out with a spice smuggler,” Thailon sneered. “I always knew that you had no morals, hanging out with galactic scum. Lower than bounty hunters, or Mandalorians...”  
  
“Poe’s a good man,” Ben argued.   
  
He could feel Voe herself approaching Ben and Poe — Poe, who looked pained, almost like Thailon had genuinely hurt him, and yet thought somehow he should just take it. For what? Someone he wasn’t anymore?   
  
“Yeah, good at kriffing up,” Thailon said. “Once scum, always scum. Just like his mom and dad — ”  
  
Ben swore the rest was a blur. It was like he was punching Thailon over and over, again and again. It was the voice in his mind that egged him on, that told him to kill Thailon, rend his flesh, that made Ben snap out of his haze.   
  
It was a good thing, Ben thought as he observed the blood on his knuckles, that he hadn’t actually killed Thailon. Even if there had been a moment where he’d wanted to.   
  
“What happened?” Voe said.   
  
Poe spoke. “Thailon...just said some things...”  
  
“Right. Heard a bit.” Voe sighed. “I never thought I’d say this, but Ben has a point.”  
  
“Figured that,” Thailon slurred. He looked like hell, Ben thought. He should be sorry. And yet for Poe, he wasn’t. He’d do anything, just for that one man. “Stubid schutta...”  
  
“Leave her alone,” Poe said.   
  
Voe spoke up. “You know,” she said, “Master Skywalker wouldn’t turn away someone trying to redeem himself. Neither should we.”  
  
Thailon left, getting up and limping off, probably because he didn’t want to mess with an upset Voe. Ben turned towards Voe, smiled. “I knew that you’re not that bad.”  
  
Voe rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head, Solo. I didn’t do it for you. I just think Thailon’s an idiot.”  
  
“No arguments there,” Poe said.   
  
***  
  
“You know, you didn’t have to defend me like that,” Poe said when they were away from Voe. “Really.”  
  
Ben sighed. How did he even begin to explain? There were a lot of things that he wanted to say, none of them good enough, for how much he wanted to protect Poe. To shield him, from people who would devalue him, people who would denigrate him, degrade him, refuse to admit that redemption really was possible. He didn’t know how to phrase things. How he would fight every one of Poe’s enemies, every last one, if it meant that Poe would be safe. Okay.   
  
“You’re my friend,” he said. “My best friend. You think that I would just let that guy treat you like that?”  
  
“It’s nothing that I haven’t heard before. And I...deserve it, Ben. You don’t know the things I did on Kijimi. Half of them, at least.”  
  
Ben took a deep breath. Poe looked in so much pain in that moment, so much self-hatred, and it was unfair. To Ben, Poe seemed almost like a brilliant, blinding light. Someone who was willing to see the good in people, shown through every smile, every twinkle of his eyes, everything. “There’s nothing that you could do that would make me hate you.”  
  
 _Tell him the truth, you idiot. You love him._ And yet where did Ben begin? Did he begin with the simple, honest fact that Poe was everything to him? Did he write out some sort of elaborate speech? Anything like that?   
  
Poe smiled a bit. “You really have so much faith in me, don’t you? Even when I kriffed up big time.”  
  
“Of course. Poe...if it was necessary, I’d beat up everyone who even looked at you funny.”  
  
Poe laughed, clearly surprised.   
  
“Really,” Ben said. “Anyone who thought less of you. I mean, you walked away. You left that life behind. People should just...forgive you at some point. Especially someone brought up in an Order where redemption’s a key value.”  
  
“I guess.”  
  
Ben took Poe’s hands, struck by how small they seemed in his large ones. Poe. Someone so small, but so incredibly tough and brave and strong. Ben just wished he could shelter Poe, from whatever wanted to hurt him.   
  
The Voice wanted that too. Was it really Dark Side to want to protect someone who meant everything to you?  
  
Was it Light Side to just abandon them?   
  
“Poe,” he said, “I’ve kept faith in you for all these years because you deserve it. And even if I didn’t like you, Jedi have faith in everyone. Master Zhar once said that few on the Dark path are lost forever. And you’re stronger than the people on Kijimi you worked with. You _won.”_  
  
Poe sighed. “I’m not sure if I believe it quite yet. That I deserve it or...anything.”  
  
“You do.”   
  
Ben squeezed Poe’s hands. He wasn’t a hero, Poe was no one’s damsel. But he could defend Poe with all he was. All his possible devotion, all his loyalty, because he loved Poe. He’d have to find a way to tell Poe. But for now, he could defend him, overtly and quietly, if only because he wanted him safe.


End file.
